Ask the Coach: Mar 31st, 2022

I'm a manager; is there a way to maintain friendships with my employees without crossing a boundary line? Or is it better to stay strictly professional?

“Friendships create a foundation through which we can develop social skills, advance our careers…and enjoy compassion and support.”  Psychology Today

From personal experience and many of my clients, this can be a challenge.

The idea of friendship applies as much to our personal lives as it does to our professional ones. Having friends in the workplace makes you more engaged and happier. 

In fact, it is so important, that 10% of US employees have left a job because a friend did, and 66% of Canadian workers say having a friend increases job satisfaction, increasing their productivity and creativity.

That said, boundaries are important to make sure that your role and position is respected and understood.  Both parties must commit to how the relationship will work best – in and outside of the office.

My suggestion however is to find other “managers” in your organization.  Forming personal/friendships with people who hold the same position is often less complicated and ultimately less problematic.

As a manager here are some great tips to help navigate the friend-boss scenario:

Get to know all your employees: Personal preferences shouldn’t get to build good relationships with all your employees. Try to get to know everyone.

Avoid gossip: Gossip between colleagues is one thing, but as the boss, it’s your job to avoid this entirely and know when to step away or speak up.

Find someone else to talk to: Avoid the temptation to share too much information with your work friends. Instead, find a suitable colleague to discuss relevant matters with. You can also speak to a neutral party, like a mentor who has no ties to your organization.

Be okay with not being liked: You’re not always going to be popular, and that’s something you must accept. Resolve conflict where you can, but always remember that it’s up to you to make the tough decisions.

Don’t always take yourself too seriously: Just because you’re the boss, it doesn’t mean you can’t take some downtime with your team to unwind and relax. Working with people, you respect and who respect you back will ensure that socializing and friendships are easy to separate from working relationships.

Mind your language: It’s easy to fall into “friend mode” with employees you’re close to, but remember at work, it’s essential also to command respect, so you must find a balance.

Don’t cross the line: Be aware that not every employee will want the same dynamic or be comfortable with a more intimate relationship.

Best,

Merrill

We have the pleasure of joining forces with Merrill Pierce, a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) accredited by Corporate Coach U, and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF). She is also an accredited member of Society of Organizational Learning (SOL), and an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) mediator certified by the ADR Institute of Canada.

Merrill has spent over 20 years working at a number of Fortune 500 companies, of which 10 years were at the senior executive level. This background provides her with a solid and practical understanding of personal and professional issues, challenges, and concerns. Merrill is also a regular contributor to the media and has published several articles and white papers on business related topics.

Merrill is ready to tackle YOUR questions! Whether they are personal, or professional - she can anonymously answer your submissions, and help you navigate any relevant challenges occurring in your life. Doing so could help others in similar situations and scenarios. Merrill will also be presenting advice on relevant, general topics to help our readers.

Welcome to the Town Crier Merrill! If you want to send a question to Merrill please submit to submissions@explorefenelonfalls.com