Ask the Coach - How Do We Build a Life as Empty Nesters?
Ask the Coach - How Do We Build a Life as Empty Nesters?
Dear Merrill,
My husband and I are in the midst of significant change in our lives, recently becoming empty nesters. Both kids have left for university, and we realized we have spent the last 20 plus years focussed on them. Our relationship is solid, but I realized that in the parenting process I have lost some of my ability to take care of myself and him.
Do you deal with this issue, and if so, do you have any hints on where to start? Thank you.
Dear Empty Nester
Sometimes it feels almost impossible to focus on our life when the demands of parenthood and work seem to take up all our time and energy. Shifting your focus from others to yourself and your husband takes courage, commitment, and some hard work. Many of my clients are surprised when I ask them to focus on their lives instead of their careers and personal goals. As a coach, it is my job to help client’s overcome blocks to creating a high-quality life by staying focussed on the steps that will get them from where they are to where they want to be.
There are several strategies I suggest people explore to create a more satisfied and balanced life. Here are a few for you to consider.
Put yourself at the top of the list – practicing extreme self care allows you to build (or rebuild) a relationship with yourself and therefore strengthening what you can bring to other relationships.
Be clear about your priorities – set new priorities that mirror what is important to you and work towards maintaining them. For instance, if working out is something you need to feel good physically and emotionally – do not let anything else get in the way of that.
What is draining you? – be aware of the things that drain your energy – if it is a cluttered home office, or a friend constantly complaining to you – be aware that this depletes you, leaving extraordinarily little energy for the more important areas in your life.
What’s fueling you? – focus your attention on things that fuel you and give you energy. Visits with good friend, exercise, soul nurturing activities.
Surround yourself with “like minded” people – build a soulful community. Foster relationships that will support, challenge, and encourage you to be your best.
Honor your spiritual well being – take time for the most important relationship of all – the connection to your inner wisdom. You above anyone else knows what is best for you. Take time to nourish this.
As you incorporate these steps into your life, you will feel better. You will find that you are more connected to yourself and others and have a much greater sense of what is really important.
Best,
Merrill
We have the pleasure of joining forces with Merrill Pierce, a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) accredited by Corporate Coach U, and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF). She is also an accredited member of Society of Organizational Learning (SOL), and an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) mediator certified by the ADR Institute of Canada.
Merrill has spent over 20 years working at a number of Fortune 500 companies, of which 10 years were at the senior executive level. This background provides her with a solid and practical understanding of personal and professional issues, challenges, and concerns. Merrill is also a regular contributor to the media and has published several articles and white papers on business related topics.
Merrill is ready to tackle YOUR questions! Whether they are personal, or professional - she can anonymously answer your submissions, and help you navigate any relevant challenges occurring in your life. Doing so could help others in similar situations and scenarios. Merrill will also be presenting advice on relevant, general topics to help our readers. If you want to send a question to Merrill, please submit to askmerrill@gmail.com before the Monday of each week (otherwise your question may be held til a following week!).
