Ask the Coach - July 14th
Ask the Coach: July 14th
"I read your previous article about mindfulness, and I think it's an interesting concept! I'm dealing with a lot of personal stress and work stress, and I thought I would try out mindfulness, but I can't seem to stay focused. Quieting my brain feels impossible! I've also found it quite difficult to fall asleep because of everything going on. Do you have any recommendations on how to successfully start a mindfulness routine? Or do you have any recommendations for how I can quiet my brain enough for sleep? Thank you!"
Personal issues and daily stressors can become mental clutter in our brains, resulting in a lack of clarity, emotional upheavals, inability to think properly, over reactions and a general sense of dis-ease.
We don’t just want to find coping mechanisms the goal is to find ways to manage these daily occurrences and to not allow them to control our existence.
One of the biggest misconceptions about mindfulness and meditation is that you should be able to clear your mind of all thoughts – and that, if you can’t do that, you are somehow getting it wrong.
As anyone who has tried practicing mindfulness and meditating knows, not only is it impossible to stop thinking – as if you could turn off the mental tap – but also that the whole point of mindfulness is to become aware of how your mind works.
A central part of that is to begin noticing the ceaseless whirl of thoughts that accompanies you throughout your every waking moment. When you meditate, perhaps focusing on your breath, thoughts naturally and inevitably arise.
The point of the practice is to notice this, then gently guide your attention back to the breath. That is meditation, not achieving some perfect state of complete mental silence and tranquillity.
There are times when we might want to quiet the mind. With my clients, that might be when their thoughts are racing, making them feel highly stressed, anxious or agitated.
Or it could be to help with insomnia – especially those 3am ‘what if…’ worries when everything looks bleak and unresolvable.
When the volume of life seems very loud to me, and I find myself swirling, I practice various mindfulness exercises. Here is one that you may find helpful. Practice makes perfect….
1. This practice takes around 10 minutes, so find a quiet time in your day when you won’t be disturbed. Switch your phone off but set a timer for 10 minutes. Sit on a straight backed chair or cushion, finding a posture that is upright but relaxed.
2. Start by becoming aware of the points of contact between your body and the cushion/chair/floor. Notice the weight of your arms and hands resting in your lap. Then shift your awareness to your breathing. You don’t have to change your breath in any way, just let your body breathe itself.
3. Normally in mindfulness of breathing we focus on one point in the body, like the nostrils, chest or stomach rising and falling. In this practice, we will try something different – start by bringing your attention to your upper back. Notice the muscles expanding on the in-breath and contracting on the out-breath. Keep your focus here for a minute.
4. Now, while still holding the back in your awareness, also focus on your belly rising and falling. Zoom right into the contact between your skin and clothing. What’s that like? You might notice warmth, coolness, friction, softness, or perhaps nothing much at all, which is perfectly fine.
5. Then add an awareness of the breath entering and leaving your nostrils, flowing down your throat and into the lungs. So, you are now holding three distinct parts of the body in your awareness, all at the same time.
6. You might start to notice a sort of dance between these three areas of the body, as the breath flows in and out. Stay with that for a few minutes until your timer goes off. Slowly and gently open your eyes.
Remember too, that one of the best gifts we have is our ability to get out in nature – generally, this can create an immediate calm and sense of mindfulness and gratitude.
“Change the things that can be changed, accept those that cannot, and have the wisdom to know the difference” …Serenity Prayer
Best,
Merrill
We have the pleasure of joining forces with Merrill Pierce, a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) accredited by Corporate Coach U, and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF). She is also an accredited member of Society of Organizational Learning (SOL), and an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) mediator certified by the ADR Institute of Canada.
Merrill has spent over 20 years working at a number of Fortune 500 companies, of which 10 years were at the senior executive level. This background provides her with a solid and practical understanding of personal and professional issues, challenges, and concerns. Merrill is also a regular contributor to the media and has published several articles and white papers on business related topics.
Merrill is ready to tackle YOUR questions! Whether they are personal, or professional - she can anonymously answer your submissions, and help you navigate any relevant challenges occurring in your life. Doing so could help others in similar situations and scenarios. Merrill will also be presenting advice on relevant, general topics to help our readers. If you want to send a question to Merrill, please submit to submissions@explorefenelonfalls.com before the Monday of each week (otherwise your question may be held til a following week!).
