Ask the Coach - Imposter Syndrome – Why do I feel like an imposter?

By: Merrill Pierce

Excerpt New Yorker Magazine’23

Imposter syndrome is a term used everywhere, and that speaks to how common it is, especially for women. But why is it getting so much attention these days?

The term is becoming more popular, but it was coined in the 1970’s by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. They wanted to understand, why high-achieving women who have all these degrees, who’ve made it to these senior level decision-making rooms feel like they’re going to be found out, or all their success is a result of luck, or they’re in that room and they don’t belong there. They called it “the imposter phenomenon.” And it is a very real feeling. 

Imposter syndrome is caused by not seeing yourself in the rooms where decisions are made. And I do believe that organizations have a responsibility to have more diverse leadership teams because it does create feelings of belonging.

How do we move beyond that?

One critical question is, are we reframing our everyday feelings of doubt as imposter feelings?

Because here’s the thing: Doubt is a normal, healthy human emotion. You’re going to feel doubt every time you stretch your comfort zone. 

Imposter feelings are real and should not be minimized.

Yes, organizations have a responsibility to bring more diversity so we can see ourselves in the rooms where decisions are made. However, let’s not reframe normal, healthy, everyday doubt into imposter feelings because you will feel doubt every time you stretch your comfort zone and move closer to your goals. 

Healthy doubt keeps us curious. It keeps us humble, and it keeps us connected to our audience. We can do important things while also feeling those uncomfortable, nervous feelings of doubt.

So, on a certain level it’s about pushing through and recognizing the positives: It can make us pay more attention. It’s a way to practice being brave, which has all sorts of repercussions in your life and your work. What can

You are not the only one to feel this way.

Yes. You’re going to speak in front of a thousand people? Of course you’re nervous. You’re going to be interviewed? Of course you are nervous.

So, we notice it, we name it, we normalize it—and then we can reframe it.  This is what it feels like to stretch my comfort zone. This was my goal one year ago and I’m here now. I knew this discomfort would come because this feels new. I am nervous because I care about doing great work.  Self talk can help with these feelings of doubt.

Then act on it. You can do the next thing while also feeling nervous. That is my big thing. You can speak while also feeling nervous. You can lead while also feeling a little bit unsure.

It’s like a muscle that’s built with practice. It does get easier.

Of course, there’s only so much that can be done internally. How about external causes and challenges?

To close the confidence gap, yes, there are some things that we as women can do. However, there are some structures and some systems in place that are also creating those pressures. So how do we learn to thrive despite the systems?

For example, men have an easier job advocating for themselves than women, even though women tend to outperform them on standardized tests. Some things that we can do is to go back and look at the evidence. Look at the evidence of your past success. Look at your resume. Look at all the things that you’ve brought to work. Keep a smile file full of customer compliments. Really using that evidence can help.

All too often we put people on a pedestal because they have a higher title than us, they’ve been around longer than us, sometimes they’re the organization’s charismatic leader. We need to stop overestimating others’ intelligence and underestimating our own.

We can do that by really owning those unique gifts that only you can bring to a situation, that unique point of view that comes from your seat. So, focus on the facts, pull down the pedestal and really own your point of view.

Confidence is a side effect of acting. Taking action. The actions of confidence come first; the feelings come second. And so, one of the great ways to build your internal sense of confidence is just to take your smallest, bravest next step!

Best,

Merrill