Ask the Coach - January 18th
By: Merrill Pierce
Dear Merrill,
I have recently moved to a new city and find myself feeling a bit out of sorts. I moved to take a new job, and although I have met some new people, I feel very lonely and uncertain that the decision I made was the right one.
I read many self-help books and know that there are some things I should be doing, but I am an introvert and find it difficult at times to make the first move. Any suggestions?
Thank you.
Congratulations on your new job and certainly, for taking a big step in moving to a new city. Two challenging life changes. This is a perfect time to explore your “support systems.”
We know that at times we may feel we need to do things on our own without the support of others. This can be difficult and leave us feeling a sense of loneliness and even despair.
Its especially important for everyone to know that we are not islands, and it is healthy to reach out to our support system. That support can come in the shape of our friends, family, and colleagues. If you look back, you will see that at various stages in your life, you relied on different people for others for different things. Its time to explore this once again.
As we grow and age, some of us feel that leaning or relying on others is a flaw or demonstrates a weakness – when in fact, it is the exact opposite. Reaching out to others is not a sign of weakness but strength. It is just as important to be a support to others, as it is to be supported.
Here are five distinct advantages of having a strong and robust support system:
Sense of belonging: A sense of belonging is important throughout our lives. It starts with our family of origin and our friend group as we grow from children to adolescents to adults. We need to thrive, not just survive. With a good support system in place, we can flourish and reach our potential in whatever area we are striving.
Reduce Stress: A strong support system aids in stress reduction. Venting and spending time with loved ones can help reduce our anxiety and increase our mood. Call a friend or family member to go for a walk, hike, or a yoga class when you need to reduce stress. Having a dedicated support system can assist us in decompressing after a stressful day.
Improve overall health and wellbeing: A good support system helps with our overall physical health throughout our lives and especially as we age. Feeling as though we are not alone helps with physical health as well as emotional wellbeing.
Emotional support: An emotional support system is especially important as good emotional health and wellbeing can increase overall physical health. A dedicated support system is pertinent to good emotional health as it gives us a community of support during the trying times.
Improved self-esteem: When we have people we can rely on and who can rely on us for support, we feel better about ourselves. It is great to have someone rooting for us on the sidelines as well as rooting for those in our support system.
Finding yourself in a new city or location where we do not know anyone, you could try volunteering, take a class, music lessons, join a group such as a running or a book club, the idea is to find other people with similar interests as our own. As adults, many of us find like-minded people at our place of work, other times that is not the case.
Get outside of your comfort zone and explore what the new city has to offer. Wishing you the best of luck on your new journey. Enjoy the adventure.
Best,
Merrill
