Ask the Coach - June 13th
By: Merrill Pierce
Dear Merrill,
Do you have any suggestions on how to manage different personalities in the workplace? I find that some of the people are open to feedback, some think it is criticism and others are highly defensive. I would like to understand what role emotional intelligence plays, when managing various personalities as some of my team has said I lack emotional intelligence. I am very focussed on getting the job done with precision, on time and on budget. Not sure why that shows a lack of emotional intelligence. Please shed some light.
With thanks, Rob.
Dear Rob,
First, let me say, managing various personality types is challenging. Whether folks are more introverted or extraverted, struggle with communication are highly emotive or passive. All bring valuable insights to a team but as a collective can be interesting to manoeuvre. That said, teams are made of all types and finding way to work more closely with one another requires that people can flex and adapt.
There are some interesting Personality (Psychometric) tests that teams can do together to build on each others style and strengths. Consider exploring Insights Discovery, Disc or Strength Finder 2.0, just to name a few.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage, understand and regulate emotions for oneself and help others do the same. It’s an increasingly popular skill in the workplace, especially among leaders, because of the benefits that stem from it. It does, however, have challenges.
The challenges that stand in the way of developing high emotional intelligence often come from within. Some struggle with self-awareness and self-management — or knowing themselves and how their emotions affect them.
Naturally, external factors also affect one’s ability to develop this skill. Learning how to interpret others’ emotions and feelings can help develop higher emotional intelligence. However, it’s not always easy to read others. Even tougher, the practice of building and maintaining healthy relationships takes time.
Specifically, people who seek to elevate their emotional intelligence run into these challenges:
Being open to feedback: It can be difficult to hear negative feedback about our emotions, especially if we are not used to it. However, feedback is essential for learning and growing.
Being open to change: Changing our emotional habits can be challenging, especially if we have been doing things the same way for a long time. However, change is necessary for growth.
Managing difficult emotions: Everyone experiences difficult emotions from time to time. However, people with high emotional intelligence are better able to manage these emotions in a healthy way.
Building strong relationships: Building and maintaining strong relationships takes time and effort. It can be challenging to find people who we connect with and who support us.
Remember, developing and maintaining high EI can be challenging. It requires us to be open to feedback, willing to change, and able to manage difficult emotions. However, the rewards of high EI are significant. People with high EI are more likely to be successful in their careers, have healthier relationships, and live happier lives.
Ask your team for specific situations where they felt you lacked Emotional Intelligence. Once you are clear, you can attempt to practice a different way to manage certain situations, using the tips above.
Wishing you success,
Best,
Merrill
